Wallflower

“I am a wallflower.” Every time I sit in my room, I keep on telling myself the sad truth, “I am a wallflower.” Nobody knows me. Nobody notices me. Nobody cares. Though I am a wallflower, I don’t care. A long as I am not hurting anybody, I will not care. But one day, I became somebody. I met someone who treated me like I’m somebody.

I am a student in a well known university in my town. My mother raised me alone since father left us when I was five. I couldn’t quite remember his face now. It doesn’t matter though. My mother works as a physician’s assistant. She works by shift so we don’t have the time to talk. I work as a cook in a restaurant and go to school from afternoon till evening.
I have been studying for 3 years now and I have never met somebody who considered me as a friend. Nobody does until one night came. I always studied in a quite, empty room of the school. I preferred that room because it gave me peace and serenity. Nobody goes there for 3 years except me. But, a girl suddenly came and sat beside me. She was as charming as the sun but as pale as snow. She had a warm voice but a cold stare.
“Hi.” she greeted me.
“Hello”. she continued

“ You don’t want to talk to me. Do you?”
I was just staring at her then she smiled. That time, I thought I was not a wallflower anymore. She could see me. She could feel me.

“I’m Aurora. What’s your name?”
Aurora. Like the northern lights I dreamed of seeing. She became the light of my darkness.
Since then, we became close friends. We met in the same room everyday, sharing our stories to each other. We laughed and cried at the same time. But one thing was confusing, I had never seen Aurora in school other than in the room. “Well, probably she works in the morning too. Like me.” I thought.
One night, Aurora asked me to send her home because she’s afraid to go home alone. So, I did. We walked hundred meters from the school and passed by a cemetery. She suddenly wept and I asked her why. She said, “I am just sad. Why do people have to die?”
“Nothing is forever in this world Aurora. Everybody dies and that will never change.”I replied.

“But what about the people we leave behind?” she cried.

“They will cry and cry but later on, they’ll move on with their lives and you are all just a MEMORY to them.”

Aurora became silent. She never spoke to me again. I was concerned that maybe I hurt her. But, I thought, she has to accept the truth.
We arrived at her house and bid goodbye. She didn’t say anything and went inside. I had a feeling that I would never see her again.

As expected, I never saw Aurora after that. I returned to the same room again and again but she never came. Until the day of my graduation came. I was sad because she wasn’t there. She promised me she would come but she didn’t. Days after that, I went to her house but she was not there either. The house was different. It looked haunted and homeless for many years, different from the house I saw one night. I saw an old man, the housekeeper, and I asked him about Aurora.
“Excuse me, I would like to ask if you know a girl name Aurora?She lives in this house.”

The old man looked surprised and became silent.
“That girl, Aurora, is not here.”staring at me.

“Can you please tell me where to find her? I kept on waiting for her in school but she never came. I thought maybe she was mad at me.”
The old man was quiet and didn’t say anything, instead he lead me to the cemetery and showed me a grave, an old grave.
“This is Aurora’s grave.”he whispered.

I was surprised and couldn’t say a word while I kept reading the prints on the grave.

The old man began to tell me Aurora’s story.  “Aurora is long dead. She died at the age of 18 in the year 1970. She got sick but she didn’t have a chance to tell the man she loved. That man studied in the same school as you. He left the school when he found out about her death and didn’t even visit her grave. Since then, stories came out that a ghost of a young lady keeps on disturbing male students in the school. But nobody came here to visit her grave. They were all afraid to do so. Until you came.”

I was silent and was about to weep. The lady who talked to me was long dead but I didn’t even notice it. She was a friend, a special friend but a ghost. I was confused whether to be scared or poignant but one thing was for sure, I was in pain knowing that she was dead.

I walked back to my house thinking about Aurora. She was the only person who treated me like somebody; the only person who I shared my stories with; the only person who saw me. But it was too ironic because the only person who could see me was a ghost.

As I was walking, a soft voice whispered to me.
“Thank you for visiting my grave. I have waited for it for a long time. I’m sorry, I left without saying goodbye.I finally accepted the reality that WE are not bound to be in this world forever. Be somebody. Talk to people. I know you’ll make friends. You did, with ME. Thank you so much.”

I was in tears hearing her voice. I wanted her back. I wanted her alive but it was too much to ask.

After that incident, I slowly changed myself. I slowly opened myself to people, to the world. And Aurora was right, I can make friends and I did.

I was a wallflower before but now, I’m not. And that was because of Aurora. She was my flower, my light and my love. But I can’t stay forever in her memory, because I have to live on with my life.

-END-

 

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